Rocker Girl

Joanie Jenkins, alias Rocker Girl, hurled down the middle of downtown toward her quarry. Widget Woman, the villain who’d just stolen valuable tech schematics from the city’s research lab, sprinted away from the hero on what appeared to be a custom-built gyroscopic scooter. Small turrets sprouted from the villain’s shoulders, hurling tiny rockets that honed in on the pursuing hero.

Before each projectile reached her, however, Rocket Girl’s skin turned to stone in small patches, making the ordinance burst into harmless puffs.

Propelled forward on superhuman legs, Joanie closed the distance between herself and Widget Woman. As the villain turned a corner, her momentum slowing just enough, Rocker Girl lept off the pavement. Mid-flight, her entire body turned to stone.

Through months of training and more than a few bruises or damaged walls, Joanie learned that while turning to stone made her nearly invincible, it made her slow. With practice, she could transform just her fists for close-quarters fights, but out in the open like this, her best strategy was to use the heaviest, most prominent part of her body—her R-cup breasts.

Rocker Girl’s stone tits crashed into Widget Woman and her scooter. The villain careened dozens of meters ass over teakettle while her machine shattered into a cloud of wires and circuit boards. The woman collided with the brick wall of a high-rise, bones broken and covered with bleeding cuts. Already, her wounds were healing, aided by a network of nanomachines of her own design, but the city’s special forces moved in to restrain the supervillain.

From somewhere behind and above her, a deep voice thrummed with laughter. “Ha ha ha ha! Most impressive, Rocker Girl.”

Joanie spun to see another villain, covered in cobalt-blue scales and giving her slow, sarcastic applause. “Perhaps you’d like to try picking on someone your own size?”

The supervillain stood nearly three meters tall. She bulged and rippled with muscle. The only bit of fat on her body was a pair of breasts even larger than Joanie’s. Without a word, Rocker Girl set her feet and prepared for a real fight.

Despite her bulky bosom, Rocker Girl lacked the mass to damage Lizard Queen. Each time she struck, the huge supervillain barely staggered, batting her away with ease.

Over and over, Joanie propelled her stone chest against Lizard Queen. And each time, her body bounced off the supervillain’s hard scales. She swung her musclebound arm, casually flinging Rocker Girl across the street.

Rumbling tanks and troops of soldiers rounded the corner, spraying shells and pulse rounds at the supervillain. In a blur of crackling blue energy, Joanie’s girlfriend carried her to safety.

“Pah!” Lizard Queen spat. “Coward!”

She bounded away, leaving craters in the pavement and setting off car alarms before. When she reached the harbor, Lizard Queen dove to safety below the water.

***

Exhausted from her workout, Joanie scraped the last bit of pasta from her plate. Her girlfriend hovered nearby with a large pot, scooping a generous pile in front of her.

“I don’t think I can eat anymore, Billie…”

The blue-haired woman squatted beside Joanie, rubbing her stuffed stomach with one hand and stroking one S-cup breast with the other. “Come on, Babe. Just one more plate. You’re working so hard, but you gotta grow bigger if you want to beat her next time.”

Joanie sighed. Her girlfriend was right, of course. She’d have to at least outgrow the alphabet to have a chance against Lizard Queen. Picking up her fork, she spun it through the sauce-drenched noodles.